Robert Genn, a successful working artist, writes a remarkable “Twice Weekly” newsletter. On Monday morning, his post hit me right between the eyes: “Are You Lonely This Morning?”. Because, as it happened, I was.
Pulling work up from the inside puts you in a place where it is really easy to feel isolated from the rest of humanity (Sometimes that’s a good thing, people sometimes suck). If you are intuitive and a little introverted (like me) being alone can be very seductive. Couple this fiendish “Lone Wolf” impulse with that whole “approval thing” and it’s preferable, at least some of the time, to be alone with your work.
I made a choice, a dozen years ago, to leave the environment of a national investment firm to strike out on my own and open an independent office. Being away from the cut throat, competitive dynamics of a Wall Street firm, being away from office gossip and not having anyone to answer to, has been a real bonus, in fact, it changed my life completely. The only negative is that sometimes I feel like I am in solitary confinement and I have to make an effort to reach out to the big world out there. I try to have lunches out, stay in contact with like minded people and keep my brain stimulated.
While I understand most people get home from work and like to crash, to get caught up on work they didn’t get done during the day and to watch TV, I just can’t do it. I work to live, I’m too old to live to work. I need my music, need the gym, like to do work for the Little League, and make friends. I will, if we meet, have a cocktail with you. (Isn’t that a great old phrase? “He’ll have a drink with you”).
If you find me sprawled out on a couch you may assume death is near.
Back to Robert’s piece this week : there’s a lot of this loneliness thing going around. In my new version of Rick, (Rick 5.0 or something like that) as a writer and guitar player, I’ve found that isolation is also a danger. Good ideas seem to come from within: however, if I leave my dungeon and actually speak to someone, you know a person, my inspirations get better. I think every artist sees his creation his own way, the last thing we want to do is have someone else mess with that vision. It’s a fine line between getting input and having your precious inspiration screwed around with.
A camel, the old saying goes, is a horse designed by a committee and many creatives cringe when they hear the word “collaboration”. On the other hand; I know many successful creatives who are great team members, they learned to work and play well with others and seem happier knowing others who understand their work, understand their process.
As I wrote in the Affluent Artist, there are some amazing people designing theme park rides, dolphin shows and Super Bowl half time shows who are part of amazing teams. They understand, ultimately, that art has to be appreciated by someone, there has to be an end user: a person who sees the results of your work. Getting feedback and help along the way is very valuable.
Hugh MacLeod has a new, wonderful book about Creativity and, the title is apropos to this Loneliness concept: “Ignore Everybody and 39 Other Keys to Creativity“. Hugh warns us how threatening your new idea is to those around you. New ideas change the “power” in a relationship. (If new Ideas threaten your friends, hmm, it’s time for new friends). Those that strike out to improve themselves, who take action, upset the balance in a relationship. Following your passion is not the safe road, but, as a creative, you have no choice.
My question: if you find your self working alone a lot (spiritually, physically or mentally)what is your remedy? How do you keep from going crazy? (Or, if you have gone crazy, tell us what it’s like there!)
I’d love your comments, I know commenting on this blog is a little clunky, you simply have to click on the title of the blog- The Loneliness Factor- and you’ll go to a page that has comment spaces.
Please: share! It would be great to hear how you deal with being a lonely creative.
This song came on Pandora while I was writing and it seemed perfect:
14 Comments
July 15, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Good article and very true from my experiences as an artist and writer. There is great strength and clarity than can be drawn from the space around me when I am in the Zone; when I am connected with the core that connects me what folks call the Universe.
I remember the period when I painted one of my major works Lanyon Quoit – A New Age Dawning. I was on my own, recently divorced, out of work due to a buyout with no room for old farts, and all I had was my painting. I knew the subject and the support dimensions I wanted. I was alone with that canvas for 2 weeks looking at it and just going out for meals and working on some small water colours. Finally one night I got up with a charcoal stick and attacked the canvas and laid it out in a short time. I had this great sense of focus and clarity. The next morning I got up at my usual 6 am, did my yoga practice and meditated for 20 minutes, then attacked the canvas again this time with paint rollers, oils and glazing medium and 14 hours later there was a sky like none I had ever painted and the impasto base that I would complete over the next several weeks. The space and aloneness allowed me to tap into what I refer to as the Source. It sustained me and sustained the vision of the piece through the intense spiritual and physical act of creation.
Rather than combat the aloneness, I allowed and embraced it finding clarity, strength and healing.
I have to admit though I was anxious for the approval of my artist peers. When you paint from a place of strength and clarity, people will see and feel that energy and connect with the work.
My two point one cents worth based on today`s CDN to US exchange rate.
Now that Maureen`s sites are almost done I will get on with mine. Photo of work in question posted in my photos Rick.
July 16, 2009 at 4:42 am
Thanks Kim, I have found that this zone thing is something all successful creatives describe, when you tap into it you are finding your soul, your raisson d’etat. It’s so cool to hear your description of it. I’ll be sure to look for more from you and I hope Maureen’s stuff is going well!
July 16, 2009 at 12:18 am
Love this post. Umm loneliness, I know what you mean. To be alone and to be lonely are of course 2 different things. Most of the time, I appreciate my aloneness. I need it so that the ideas can flow. I like to talk to myself (and even hear myself respond!) I like to dash to my always-on computer when a phrase hits me, or an idea finally comes to get me out of the deep pit in my writing I have fallen into. I need time and space and silence to work.
But sometimes, my aloneness unexpectedly morphs into loneliness. Then I want the sound of another, the smile of appreciation from someone who loves and understands me. I will sometimes call a friend, but it is often not enough. Then, I’ll take my computer and go to the local coffee shop where the owner knows me and greets me with a smile. There, I can be alone without being lonely.
Other times, I simply sit with the feeling. That too is ok.
July 16, 2009 at 12:29 am
Wonderful prose Marjorie, I understand, sometimes it IS ok.
July 16, 2009 at 12:46 am
Great comment Marjorie. Well said.
July 16, 2009 at 5:14 am
Being alone is the time I find ability to feel the life that totally surrounds me. I spend many many hours weekly alone in pursuit of my passion. It is at those moments when standing in the mist of miles of vast openness I begin to notice just how much life is around me. It is as tho the air itself is alive and as it surrounds my body senses experience comfort in the loneliness. I’m not sure if that even makes sense to anyone but me. It is an alone experience that escapes words.
I have experienced emotional loneliness when surrounded by others, and emotional joy of life when completely alone. I believe one can not fully appreciate life as we know it without first feeling the emptiness of loneliness. It is only after then one can find comfort in solitude.
Thanks for the post.
July 16, 2009 at 12:24 pm
You are welcome and thank you for the wonderful insight!
July 16, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I like being alone to the point where, given the choice I’d be a hermit– but I know that it’s healthier for me and better for my art to be out there sometimes.
A few things– when my friends ask me to come with them someplace I try to agree. (I don’t have many and they don’t often ask, so this isn’t shooting myself in the foot:)
I involve myself with other artists online.
I work at home, but not shut away from my family. I work out in the open so I can keep a finger on the pulse of life in my home– i can be distracting, annoying and draining– but it’s also human contact which on some levels I need– despite personal preferences.
July 16, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Boy, do I get that! Thanks for sharing!
July 16, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I talk to myself… No, seriously, I like painting alone, but love the way the net gives me interaction in small bits at a time, when the time is right for me and for however long is right for me just then. I pop into “my” forum (the one I’m mod for) to see who’s been talking about what and join in the conversation to a greater or lesser degree depending on how I feel. By signing in other people know I’m there even if I’ve not been posting.
July 16, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Me too Marion, I love Web 2.0
July 16, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Great post! Working with musicians and tracking/mixing is great fun- keeping me ‘in the mix’ with people.. the off days editing alone in my project studio is tedious and often times eerily lonely. Listening to a good mix come together is worth the effort, don’t get me wrong, but it can spawn isolated feelings.
Wild horses could not drag me away from producing music- yet some ‘edit session’ can make me feel like the guy most apt to hit the insane asylum or get locked in a dungeon with chains and dark spaces. However alluring that might sound to gothic artists, when I hit that point a good ‘critical listening’ mix session with the artist usually snaps me out of that..
heehee, thanks for the tips!
Mike aka audioK9
indie audio engineer
July 16, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I think you have a way cool job, just for the record!
July 18, 2009 at 3:03 pm
I love being alone, always have. And I find that the more creative I allow myself to be, the more I crave the interaction with others. I am no comfortable calling myself an artist, specifically a fiber artist. I manage the loneliness factor by belonging to groups both in person and online that I can relate to.
Locally, I belong to a wonderful group of creative thinkers that do everything from art quilts to dolls to beading. I seldom miss those monthly meetings because they are like turbo-boosts of inspiration. We share ideas, techniques and things we’re working on. We cheer each other on for shows people get into and awards they have won. And we have speakers come once a month on topics we decide together.
I also belong to a mixed media group that is very similar, meets once a month with lots of sharing, encouragement and hands on practice of techniques.
I find that the more I’m able to talk about what I’m working on or some idea I have, the comments and responses that my friends, family and co-workers have can often help me clarify or expand my perspective on what I’m doing. So the interaction is valuable to me. The people in my life are very used to my ’show & tells’. These interactions also help keep my self-critical nature from getting out of hand.
I’m