My particular version of self loathing and sabotage seems to be procrastination. I’m a pretty high A, high achievement, task oriented kind of guy normally, but I have to keep watching myself for those instances I put stuff aside until it piles so high that all momentum comes to a grinding halt because I have to tackle my “pile”. Partly to help you understand your own form of vileness and partly as a catharsis, I’d like to address this procrastination beast… Tomorrow.
Only kidding! Remember not long ago, I talked about Resistance and Steven Pressfield’s wonderful book, The War of Art. Steven blames everything on “resistance” the enemy of all creatives. I agree with Steven completely, I keep his book on my desk and refer to it often. Here’s a few ways my particular form of resistance crops up in my life:
*”I don’t want to”: Sometimes, I lack ALL self discipline and think I can simply ignore shit like paperwork and bills because, after all, I am a creative soul. This form or irresponsibility can be very seductive, after all, I am a creative soul!
“Tomorrow” I can get pretty caught up in this one and actually fool myself into believing it. Yea, that’s a great idea, certainly needs to get done, I’ll get it tomorrow morning. It’s almost like starting a diet…
“I’ll doing something creative instead” Gee whiz, I really need to fill out this bull crap, boring and static compliance report or I could start Friday’s blog, that’s it, I’ll start Friday’s blog, I’m feeling inspired all of a sudden.
“I’m afraid of failure/ success” What if they hate this new product? What if no one really wants to hire me to speak? They don’t really really hire speakers like me? Or, conversely: How will I get all these orders fulfilled? I don’t have the infrastructure…
“I don’t have time” I know this new blog idea could make me at least rich and maybe even famous but I have to file these forms and clean out these cabinets. I have to be organized.
“I’ll surf the net” There is news on the NBA free agent market, I need to know if Rasheed Wallace signed, there’s my blog and my God there is Twitter. Web 2.0 is calling me…
So, here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to knock it off. Every time I don’t get something done that I need to get done, I’m going to let you know. I’ll send out a tweet or something. Here’s an example. I’m good at working out but crappy at dieting. I usually eat whatever I can eat without getting out of my car. But Tuesday night I’m joining a new workout class that includes dietary guidelines. I’m going to finally lose the middle age gut and go for it, flat out for 6 weeks, no excuses, no resistance. I’ll let you know my progress on FB or something, but I’ve been putting this one off for too long!
Anyone want to join me? Make a pledge, right now, for the whole world to see under comments, come on, I could use a team behind me! Let’s support each other!
25 Comments
July 6, 2009 at 8:19 am
Hi Rick,
Thank you for this. I really thought that I am the only prorastinator in the world! What a terrible thing it is – makes you feel so…. nobody!
One of my favorites is “nobody cares anyway”. You probably know that when the creative work is in process it requires solitude and a feeling of uniqueness and that gives a perfect excuse to procrastinate – nobody understands me anyway…
I will join your team – be the Helsinki unit
July 6, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Awesome Cristina!
July 6, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Ouch,
While I am highly productive as a musician improvement in my notation practices is needed. I create a lot,record some of my ideas, notate someof my ideas. But sometimes both the recording and notation do not happen.
Then whenI want to revisit an idea I have to work harder to retrieve it and at times have lost it.
Thus for the next six weeks part of 20 minutes of my music time will be catching this work up. And more importantly keeping new ideas notated & recorded as they arise.
Shall we check upback here to see how we are doing? Perhaps even nudge one another. May be more effective for me to be publicly accountable to others doing similar efforts? Thoughts?
July 6, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I’ll try to read this tomorrow.
July 6, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Way too easy Don, gonna have to pick your game up…
July 7, 2009 at 2:23 am
Rick,
This is a great subject! Is there any way you can do a blog about how to keeping momentum?
July 7, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Sure, be happy too! BTW, I kinda wrote a book about it!
July 8, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Day One,
Some resistance to this part of my practice, so I chose to address this right after warming up. The first ten minutes were toguh then the next 15 flowed. Was tempted to complete notating the piece but it was gettingl ate and my time to play is precious.
Knowing that I had committed to doing this for 6 weeks Iwaableto let go of this urge and will complete notating this particular piece “Dancin’ Free” tonight.
July 8, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Go for it big fella! Kick resistance right between the legs!
July 8, 2009 at 3:46 pm
A song from my first CD “Glass Half Full”(2001) is titled “Wastin’ Time” and addresses this issue. Its available on iTunes.
I look at procrastination as something like a bum leg – it’s there, but you can get around. I also believe it’s a fear-based affliction. What am I afraid of? I don’t know, but I’m getting tired of holding myself back and that’s the worst result one can experience in this short life. Knowing that so many can relate doesn’t make things better, especially since my industry is so competitive.
To get ahead we must “use our head”. Controlling our own mind has to be the key to unlock the richness we each possess.
July 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Cool Garrick, I’ll check it out!
July 9, 2009 at 2:15 am
Day Two,
Completed notating Dancin’ Free as part of my guitar practice session. Now have this piece both notated and a rough recording for reference.
Any readers interested in a free download of my music message me from http://www.PatrickSmithMusic.com and I’ll send you a link.
More tommorrow.
July 9, 2009 at 2:16 am
Day Two,
Completed notating Dancin’ Free as part of my guitar practice session. Now have this piece both notated and a rough recording for reference.
More tomorrow.
July 9, 2009 at 2:38 am
Sweet, I’ve been working out like mofo and have eaten “perfectly” for 2 days… Plus I’ve played guitar for about an hour tonight. Getting my 5 things a day done.
July 11, 2009 at 2:15 am
Day 4
Breakthrough. There was a piece that came out in December that I began notating the first few bars then and thought that I had recorded. I found out a while back that I had not recorded it and was distressed.
Tonight I spent a few minutes notating what I still knew and organized some notes on another piece. However I still had nearly ten minutes remaining to this commitment. I returned to working on the first piece ” Beneath Dark Images” to see if I could jog my brain.
This is always a tough place for me to be in, attempting to recapture a piece. Kicks up feelings of inadequacy & incompetence spinning me into a funk. But I persisted listening with my mind for the transition to the next section. What was I going to do. To move to another piece at this point would be a cop out.
Then I heard the next part in my ear. Played it. Yes. The piece began to reveal itself to me again. More playing and then I hit record and then made some notes.
Thanks for getting me moving on this Rick.
July 11, 2009 at 2:39 am
That’s so cool, thanks for the insight and congratulations!
July 12, 2009 at 1:50 am
Day 5:
Today I had such a sense of relief from this work of yesterday. I took another look at “Beneath Dark Images” and then moved on to exploring. I just began to play a chord and then another and I follow where they might lead me. I heard something that I liked, but did not have much time before I needed to leave so I recorded the idea.
Later in the evening I returned to this and as a new twist to my process I began notating this small snippet of an idea, just 16 bars. But while notating this I played a bit more with the notion and bounced to recording, and back to notating, and then a new rough recording.
I also decided to begin a blog find it at: http://ajourneymanswayhome.blogspot.com/
I did post a link to here at The Affluent Artist which has provided a shove that was needed.
Stay tuned!
Stay tuned for where this goes.
July 13, 2009 at 1:50 am
Day 6.
Currently it is 9:10 EDT. Began practicing 30 minutes ago. Really want to blow off the notation part tonight. Really feeling the need to just play the guitar, work on the pieces I have. Intellectually I can justify this, yet I know I need to honor the commitment that I made. After all I made it for a reason and in a short period of time it has served me well. To let go tonight, no matter how tired I am from a wonderful family day is a mistake. So back to practice. Soon to notate.
9:44 EDT
I listened to the rough recording of what I recaptured of “Beneath Dark Images” from friday night and still can not hear all of the piece in my mind. I decided to notate the other part that I have recalled and then take it from there. This difficulty shows me why I must record these ideas, especially as they develop further and notate at least chord structures as I go along. Now I can return to playing a bit.
July 22, 2009 at 1:32 am
While I have not kept up with posting here I have worked on the notation most evenings. I do take one night a week off from the guitar to rest so there was no work with the notation on those nights. One other night I blew it off.
This public commitment has been very useful for me.
How is it going for you Rick? Any place on line I can hear your guitar?
July 22, 2009 at 2:17 am
You don’t want to hear my guitar!! I’m working night and day on several web things, a new DVD series, a website change etc. I’ve never had as busy a week. I’m still getting in my workouts and playing each day. Hope to get out of this tunnel by Friday!
Way to go Patrick!
July 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Sounds great Patrick! Are you on FB? I am, we could communicate through there… rick.dibiasio is my FB name
July 10, 2009 at 1:40 am
Day 3,
Organized rough recordings and added this location info to notations in progress. One good thing I am finding from this six week commitment is that I m moving forward slowly, but forward nonetheless.
July 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I had another KA workout class and did some writing.
July 10, 2009 at 5:56 pm
And I am sure you followed the dietary recommendations!
July 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Except for the gravy!!!